why...

sometimes i look at my life and i'm content -- happy with how things are going, happy that i'm finally on my own, working and having fun with friends. and then other times i really hate it - hate that i feel like i'm wasting six years of education, hate that i haven't found a "real" job yet, hate that i am not really happy about anything in my life. and i hate the way i feel after talking to my parents. i can just hear the disappointment dripping from their voices. grrrr. i feel like i can't do anything to make them happy - absolutely nothing. and my friend was telling me that if they were good parents they would be happy if i was happy. and i have to agree. but right now they can't see anything.
i'm back at work and things are okay. i'm just trying to make sense of my life that's all. i'm trying to understand why it kind of ended up like this. and i'm not really complaining. the only thing that upsets me is not being able to find a job in my field. i never thought it would be this hard, especially since i have my master's and have had such good internships and work experience. what else do i have to do? who do i have to know to land a job around here? and maybe i need to just get out of indiana, go somewhere else, go to a big city and start afresh. i'm trying to keep my sanity in line for the rest of year and just hope that i will be able to move and start all over again. and who knows where...i might end up somewhere i had no idea existed or ever thought of looking at. but i'm just hoping things will work out that's all.
been hanging out my friends a lot and i'm appreciate it...i don't know what i would do without them. sure, sometimes they totally piss me off but i wouldn't trade them for the world....