sigh

ok...back to work tomorrow. sigh. part of me is really happy to be going back but then another part of me is like what the heck???? i don't really mind it just the fact i hate that i can't find anything else. hopefully once i get out of muncie i will be able to find something else, something that will utilize my talents and my education. hate that i feel like i'm wasting six years of school while i'm here.
anyways....my freelancing job is going well -- got more work and my first paycheck :-) yay. it'll be a fun and challenging job though. a lot of extra time so when i have any time free i will be doing that. but i don't mind cause i've had 4 weeks of just sitting on my butt doing absolutely nothing. so i want to jump back into work, keeping busy and not feeling so sorry for myself. who knows what the rest of the year is going to bring. hopefully i will stay sane and happy but not promising anything. i just want to know that i'll be okay. i want to know that this year won't be as bad as i think it will be, that everything is in my head. and something greater is going to happen down the road. that in five years i will have my dream job, that things will just be better.