happy weekend

it was so good seeing my friend A this weekend. he looks soo good and it's been a long time since we've hung out. living 5 hours away sure does suck. can't wait for the end of the year when things are going to get better and we're all gonna be together.
so i did something pretty bad this weekend and even though i know it was wrong...i don't feel anything. i mean as a person who knows the difference between right and wrong, i know what i did was awful and should feel guilty about it every day. but i feel nothing...and that kind of scares me. and i'm not sure if it's because i have so many emotions as well as my heart involved that is clouding my judgment. sigh...sooo confusing. and the timing is so crazy too. i just wish that i could rewind time, change a few things and see how happy i would be now. to think that my life could be so different with the "if only's."