new beginnings

well, summer has been over for a few weeks and yet it still feels like it...well kind of for me anyway. i guess it's because i'm not going back to school so it still feels like summer for me. i'm still working crazy hours at rl and wishing that i could find something else that is more "me." i mean sometimes i feel like i am putting my life on hold for something that really isn't worth it...but i'm so afraid to venture out into the new and also saying good-bye to my friends. i don't want to up somewhere alone, without any friends and venturing in the unknown. is that just stupid of me? i know that everyone has to grow up and do what they need to....but i'm just not ready.
anyway....life continues and i'm just trying to hold on and enjoy the ride. guess it's just not what i expected but then it's been pretty good.