too emotional

i've said my good-byes to my best friends...and i cannot stop crying. i find myself just bawling at the drop of a pin. last night was probably the worst night for me, just because i knew they would be leaving in the morning. helped j pack his room and then we all went to karaoke for a and j's good-bye party. i tried to remain happy, to be positive about everything but afterwards, i couldn't stop crying. and i'm not sure if it has been the stress of the week, the end of school, the end of everything that really got to me all at the same time. those boys have literally been my salvation this past semester -- their friendship means the world to me...i've laughed more, loved more and i believe became a better person because they entered my lives...i know our friendship will never end, that we will stay in touch, but it's hard knowing that they're not just down the road, that i won't be seeing them everyday at work or at each other's houses. i love them so much and i just can't comprehend that they are gone. a has moved...j and j will be coming back in august for school but i don't think i will be here...well hopefully not. i hope that i do get my job and will be moving. where does that leave me? we jokingly said that when we are all finished with school we all have to live in the same city, or at least in the same neighborhood so we will always be together...and i really hope that happens!!! i can't see my life without them. and i can't stop crying...