no expectations

i guess i should learn by now that if i don't expect anything then i won't get hurt or disappointed...you'd think i would have mastered that line of thought by now but i haven't. i don't know why i expect so much out of people - as if they won't ever let you know, that they're really going to make you happy and make you feel special. i am such a lush...maybe too much of a romantic or wishing for the best in every situation. what can i say -- i am an optimist...

so maybe life is cruel, bitter and hurtful. should i become that way also? or should i hold onto the goodness and laughter, to pretend that i'm never going to grow old but still be a child, to see the best in everyone and everything. will i become so cynical that i cannot say one good thing about someone or something? will i become jaded from these certain events that seem to plague my life, these routines that always keep me in check. will i learn or turn a blind eye, just wishing and hoping that someone out there will break my uncertainties and finally allow me to believe....