be my baby...

i love that song by the fray. it's absolutely amazing...and i know exactly who i would dedicate it to. but sadly, he's not available and won't be for probably the rest of his life. it's sad...it hurts, more than i thought it ever would. i thought i could just let it go, to be okay with it but the more time i spend with him, my heart starts breaking, piece by piece. maybe it's a good thing that i'm going to be leaving and won't have to see him. cause everytime he talks to me, i fall for him. everytime he looks at me, my head rushes. everytime he touches me, my heart won't stop pounding. it's absolutely crazy.

but sadly...i think it's just me. i know he thinks fondly of me and everything, but it just isn't the same. i'm starting to get head over heels, emotions flying everywhere, the whole 'you make my life brighter' kind of thing. and i hate it. i hate feeling this way, almost helpless and unable to put my life in order. i hate thinking it's all going to fall apart the minute i move away knowing i'll never see him again. i hate thinking i'll never be able to find someone like him because he's the one and only.

why do i feel like this? i meet great guys all the time. why am i so stuck on this one? is it because he is so unavailable that my heart wants him more? or is the fact i found someone i can connect with on this new level...

be my baby...i'll take care of you.