happy halloween

is it halloween already? unbelievable - this month just flew right by. i'm glad that it's going by quickly though because i have a lot to look forward to next semester and summer. hopefully i will be doing a lot of interviews and getting a few job offers by the time i've graduated. i have a possible internship for the spring and summer that could lead into a full-time position -- interview is thursday. keeping my fingers crossed for that. it would be nice to work at a place for 6 or so months, get the hang of everything and then get hired on full-time, already knowing what needs to be done, knowing the people and atmosphere. that's my ideal situation right there.

this weekend was pretty much a bust. i didn't have to work, so i basically lazed around the whole time. which is pretty much a first for me all semester. i parked myself in front of the tv and watched as many movies as i could. yay for free movie channels! and i couldn't help thinking, man, i love my apartment! i've got it made right now and can't really complain about too much. but the thing is...i'm lonely. a lot of my friends i made last year have gone their own ways -- graduated, now working a full-time job or have moved out of state. i'm still here, in good ol' muncie wishing that i could rewind time. would i do it any differently?

my dad is here visiting me for a few days. he went on a bike trip and i'm sort of a pit stop for him. he's trying to get all emotional with me, trying to have "the talk." basically, he wants to know what i've been up to, blah, blah, blah. sure, i appreciate the fact he's doing it, trying to get closer, but i am not like that at all. i hate confiding in my parents mainly because they know how to use the information against me in the future -- always comes back and bites you in the butt. always. and i always seem like i'm not doing anything good enough for them -- their standards are pretty high and i can never seem to reach them. i'm sort of at that mentality the less they know the better. heck, i'm almost 24, living on my own, providing for myself -- they don't need to know every aspect of my life! that's what i like about living 10 hours away from home, there's no fear they will drop by unannounced, inviting themselves when i'm not expecting them. i'm not saying i don't love my family - i do - but like all parents, they want to be a major part of their children's lives. fine - i'm cool with that, but let me make my own decisions and mistakes - let me learn from them and grow as an adult. i don't want every answer handed to me on a silver platter, what good will that do me in the long run? they're very protective and i wish sometimes they would just let me fall...